21 *trigger warning*11 years old and wanting liposuction,
so I could fit through the cracks of my perception.
12 years old and being told to grab a knife and kill myself,
praying I would disappear from those who hurt inside themselves.
13 years old and being pushed down the stairs because i’m disgusting,
hitting the last concrete step in hope all my flaws would vanish into dust below.
14 years old and people making bets that they could sleep with me because ‘depressed people are easy’
all the colour drained from a spirit who only wanted to belong.
15 years old and being known as the ‘fat gothic thing’
I didn't want to conform, I wanted to be me, so badly, just me.
16 years old and skipping breakfast and dinner hoping I could look like one of ‘them’
transforming myself into a creature of my own torment.
17 years old and comfort eating to take the pain away.
thinking every bite would bring me closer to control but so deeply falling.
18 years old and thinking ‘